Transformers: B-

Michael Bay's Transformers is, of his films, perhaps his greatest achievement; epic and yet scaled to maximum audience enjoyment, full of action scenes directed with virtuostic skill, and about 80% coherent (atleast up until the robots themselves make their grand entrances). As summer entertainment goes, Transformers doesn't dissapoint and yet as one of Bay's films it is a rousing success. It should be specified however that a good Bay film does not a great film make. If nothing else though, atleast you can marvel at Shia LaBeouf and wonder at where on Earth this talent appeared from.

The movie explodes in a military base at Qatar as strange metallic beings invade a compound manned by Sgt. Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Sgt. Epps (Tyrese Gibson). It is a rip-roaring behemoth that starts shooting the place up but it is its smaller comrade - a sort of spidery-insectoid hybrid - that squeaks and squawks its way to a large chunk of personality. Before the robot starts his chaotic rampage, there are a few moments with Lennox and Epps in which to build up some character (a Spielbergian technique played off here with less mastery that Transformers' exec-producer would suggest). The overall plot-sequence then plays as follows: tranquil chatter/character build-up, sudden shocking apparition appearance, lengthy action sequence. The blessing and the curse of Transformers is that Bay himself is content to follow this pattern: rinse, wash, repeat...for 140 minutes.

And yet as blockbuster formulas go, this one is remarkably durable and shiny (heck, even original). Its characters may be recycled - the geeky smooth hero, the Siguorney Weaver knock-off vixen-heroine, the comic relief (usually in the form of a black man) - but they are scavenged from the best of the mediocre and the result is something that transcends its humble roots. Still, after more than two hours - and no matter with what skill the actors (or actor, Mr. LaBeouf) imbue their parts - these people remained simply characters on screen.

What a fun ride though that we are ushered through with them! Action blossoms with minimal effort and even more effortless, and beautiful, choreography. I wish that the same could be said for the robots causing such destruction, but sadly I found their kind almost irritatingly boring (and worse, cheesy). The strikingly enjoyable script, from Robert Orci & Alex Kurtzman, concocts an interesting story. It is worth noting again though that the story itself is as much a Frankensteinian creation as the characters within its pages.

You see, what it boiles down to folks goes alittle something like this: Michael Bay may not have reached any new magnificent highs in cinematic history, and Transformers is by no means a sublime sugary rush (contrary to what the people may have thought in my theater) but it is a solid experience, a film that holds few pretentions and delivers on all of mine; a nice cool glass of water to cleanse your palat after all those arrrghs and spiderwebs.